You can walk into a room and wonder a lot of things about what your significant other may be doing, but grab a glance of the screen to see a life-size teddy bear, then you bear the burden of wonder and worry. So I ask him what he’s watching.

His answer: ESPN.

ESPN! ESPN? I wait a few seconds and listen to learn more about the life-size teddy bear (which in the wrong situation, could be creepier than a crew of clowns) that the voice-over espouses would bring joy to your wife, girlfriend or FWB when she receives the gift of an over-priced, over-stuffed toy for Valentine’s Day, even serving as a stand-in when your man cannot be there. (I don’t know what it says about a guy that he can be replaced by a 54-inch polyester carnivore. He may need a gift of a gym membership.)

Seconds later, a 20-something woman kicks her footed feet up to the camera, proclaiming what every girl must dream of getting from her fella, leopard print footed pajamas, courtesy of PajamaGram. It’s then Nate waxes poetic about every type of teddy, Puritan-teddy ala PajamaGram and floral confection available for last minute ordering, and he sheepishly admits he visited each of their websites.

It made me realize, roses may be red, but the true color of Valentine’s Day must be green. For advertisers, for the love of the game means the game of placement. We talk about knowing your audience, understanding your target, comprehending your competitor, but none of it matters if it goes where no one you want to see, sees it. Somewhere along the lines, the makers of mail order teddy bears, pajamas and flowers figured this out. They also figured out it doesn’t matter if women don’t want to lounge around in pajamas with ears and tails. They just need to get to the guys with copy laced with racy double entendres. While I find the fashion of the hoodie footie jammies horrifying, Nate describes the horror movie plot line that becomes real life around Valentine’s Day shopping. A fear these companies learned to master and conquer (like a valiant hero of any host of Katherine Heigel rom-coms) with perfect placement.

Now if only the Real Housewives could show me the perfect procrastinator’s gift.

DISCLAIMER: After reading this, Nate wanted to be sure no one thought he “actually bought any of that crap.”

Originally posted on ADwërks.com.

Thursday evening I joined my wonderful friend, Melissa J., at It’s In The Bag, a fundraiser for The Compass Center in Sioux Falls, SD. The Compass Center is a non-profit agency that works to prevent domestic and sexual violence. Melissa and I spoke about the gift of our friendship that grew out of our shared journey of hurt and healing.

Support of friends and family means so much, but there’s something about having a friend who can understand the darkness of the bad days and the light of the good days, and for that, I treasure my friendship with Melissa. The evening also included a lot of amazing purses and I couldn’t walk away without getting something. I am now the proud owner of a vintage bag (c. 1948) and even met the woman who donated it. She shared with me how she bought the bag and matching shoes back in the days when you dressed up to travel. The bag looks like you could buy it from any store today, except for a few very light pencil marks inside. It reminded me of the journey to be a survivor and how on the outside we may look whole and perfect, there will always be something we carry inside but with friends and family, we do not carry the work of healing alone.

Originally posted on Selfspiration.com

These superlative skills also flood companies and products. Want something in HD, you get your pick of makeup, movies or sunglasses. Then there’s extreme (or EXTREME or even X-TREME) for games, pop or memory cards. And the 2012Consumer Electronics Show introduced ultra – ultrabooks, ultracomputers and ultratelevisions.

Courtesy: Procsilas Moscas

Add to all of this, 3-D and ultimate, and you get the Ultra Ultimate Extreme HD 3-D phone, television, computer, apple, car or pajama jeans (ok, that may be a little extreme).

But it begs the question – Does an avalanche of adjectives actually help sell a product by moving it into the sphere of talked-about-ness, or does it end up disappointing? Does a name in itself create credibility, or cause chaos in an already overwhelmed marketplace?

Maybe in the end it’s not what’s in a name, but what’s in the product its

elf. If we sell people on exaggerated expectations, we often end up with disappointed consumers. So if a name brings with it the showmanship of an Elton John costume, but also delivers, it does the consumer some good by delivering what it promises. But when we brand an object outside of its personality and label it for headlinesand not accuracy, well, it ends up like a 72-day Kardashian wedding, a lot of talk and even more gifts that should be returned.

And then there’s the guy who named his sonsWinner and Loser. Names hold power, but the product (or the person) holds even more. As for naming children, she may not be a celebrity outside of her own yard, but we named our pug Mayhem Awesome. Unfortunately, as our furniture proves, she did not over-hype her name.

Originally posted on ADwërks.com.

Stilettos may not always be the easiest to walk in, especially when the road ahead can be rocky, rough and unsure. Today, in my five-inch heels, I teetered into a hearing room to testify for South Dakota Senate Bill 68, introduced by my friend and former co-worker, Sen. Mark Johnston. Shaking in my shoes (at least on the inside) would be fair, and some trembling on the outside, I told my story to the seven members of the committee. It gets easier, but it will never be easy, to go back to that time and talk about the dark days of the journey to heal. The Compass Center spoke as well as several other organizations, including the Attorney General’s office, to show support for making changes to help victims become survivors. Two amendments added to the bill mean the statute of limitations remains for incapacitation and statuary rape. I don’t like the amendments, but I believe it allows us to make progress, maybe not as much as I would like today, but it will help others.
SB68 may not allow me to find justice in a courtroom for my case, but I know it will help others. And I believe it brings us one step closer to eliminating statutes of limitations that harm so many and prevent survivors from step forward with their lives, in worn and weathered boots, top of the line tennis shoes or five-inch heels.

Video from today’s testimony:

Originally posted on Selfspiration.com

The last few months I worked on a story with Midco Sports Network profiling an incredible family from Fargo, ND with a passion for curling at the Fargo-Moorhead Curling Club. The Podoll family also gave me some lessons in curling and I don’t see any professional curling in my future, but you never know!

 Originally aired on MidcoSportsNet.com

Walk into the McDonald’s in Wayne, America (that’s in Nebraska, but look at the water tower and you’ll understand the nomenclature) and you may be greeted by a smile wider and brighter than the arches outside. That “I’m Lovin’ It” personality belongs to Kendall, 22, a marketing student at Wayne State College. Kendall entered the Voice of McDonald’s IV, a contest to recognize McDonald’s employees for their singing talents. As he made it through the public voting to be one of the U.S. finalists, news organizations in Nebraska, Iowa and Palau (Kendall’s home and an island nation 500 miles east of the Philippines and 2,000 miles south of Tokyo with a population several thousand less than Aberdeen, SD) covered his journey.

But a lesson in PR (and life): don’t assume you know the whole story.

As we worked to share Kendall’s story (and help him get votes), we got a chance to interview him. He chatted about his philosophy in life, love of music and excitement that he would use his winnings to send his mom to his sister’s graduation and he may even make the trip home as well.

But then he mentioned something else.

At five-years-old, he became ill with Guillain-Barre syndrome and needed to be taken to a larger hospital hours away in Hawaii. While there, his family stayed at a Ronald McDonald House. Kendall told us how grateful he became back then for the chance to recover and he believed McDonald’s gave him two opportunities in his life.

While we thought we just wanted to share the story of a hard-working college kid with a great voice and passion to perform who loved to inspire people with his positive personality, we found another story. A young man grateful to share his talent and endlessly appreciative of people he never would know who gave his family a place to call home while he recovered.

Next up, Kendall heads to Orlando in April where he competes for international bragging rights singing with 16 competitors from around the globe, all hoping for their golden opportunity.

Originally posted on ADwërks.com.

But this first grader aces the alphabet, arithmetic and the toughest subject of all — parenting. My mom, the oldest and smartest first grader anyone could be lucky enough to know. This week she turned the big 6-0. The truest definition of a teacher, with zeal for learning and zest for self-improvement. If we walk into a WalMart sixty miles from her school, she recognizes (and gets recognized by) kids she taught when Alf graced televisions in primetime. She often admits that when she gets new shoes, it puts an extra pep in her step and all the small faces in her classroom get a kick for the rest of the day out of her new kicks. Of all the classroom lessons my mom tediously planned with a perfect combination of persistence, patience and passion for excellence, none can mean more than the life lessons.

She showed me you should love life as much as you love your family and your work. Your job should never center around a paycheck or clocking out at 40 hours, but on what in life cannot be given a number, like giving people opportunities to find the best in themselves. She taught me that being a good teacher will always be harder than being the best student in the class because you will be the student that never gets it all right the first time. She reminds me to give hugs and high fives every day, no matter the size of an accomplishment because each achievement in life that moves us forward should be celebrated. When the pencil breaks, it’s not a big deal. Grab the sharpener along the wall and start again. She never told me any of these things, she modeled every one of them with the same precision and dedication that she used to draw out her perfect penmanship as she taught me to write. When winter comes, recess outside may mean freezing your fanny off, but the silver lining to the clouds of snow comes when you plop a carrot in a snowman’s face.

I didn’t always appreciate, and still do not, all the wisdom my mom gave me about learning and life, but every day there seems to be one more thing I shake my head at and think, “She was right about that.”

To the oldest first grader I know, happy birthday, Mom, and here’s to another year of your life lessons.

One of those calls came from an elderly woman. Voice of an 80-year-old angel: “I need some waste removed.” Easy enough. “I let my dog poop in the house. Can you clean it up?” That knocked us over about as fast as the day we realized one of our five-poodle-families needed Pepto stat. A house pooper. Because let’s wake up and smell the feces: if they let the dog poop in the house, what other mess will they leave behind for you to stick your foot in? House poopers come in all shapes, sizes and smells. In every business, you meet them. They tempt you. Your bank account stinks at the time and the project smells like easy money. Maybe it’s the customer you cut your rate for in hopes of a bigger fish. Or the quick job that shouldn’t take too much time. But eventually, you find yourself working so many hours on the project, you make pennies. Or cutting your charges so much that it sets an expectation you will keep dooing that.

Knowing when to say no can be just as important as knowing when to let go. Sometimes the crap you get from a client ends up being more than it’s worth. Just like when you bring a puppy into your home, Fido needs to be the right fit, and so doo the people you work with. You may not feel like you can fire a client, but step back and think of how much more productive you could be for someone you work well with. Bottom line, no matter how much crap you handle in your business, house poopers will always show up. You just need to know how to show them the door.

Originally posted on SDAF.org and published in South Dakota Advertising Federation AdLib.